My time in Sweden in Facebook updates

2008-2010. And yes, most of the time I actually enjoy being here - even if my updates seem to say something else. When reading please keep in my mind that after all I am German - complaining is not an expression of negativity, it is our favorite pastime!

The famous oh-so-fabulous Swedish summer - all I say is: 8 degrees in August. EIGHT.

How can you tell that you are in Sweden? It is August, you're sitting inside and you are wondering 2 things: 1. when will they finally turn on the heating 2. why you left your fleece jacket at home...because it is max 10 degrees outside.

‎12 min of cycling and I look like I swam through the Öresund. Finally traditional Swedish summer weather!

Britta wonders if Swedish marketers either have a very dark sense of humour or are insane: I just saw a very unappetising TV show on food hoarders and who sponsored it? A Swedish bread company! Interesting branding strategy.

Britta is back in Sweden..........oh wait, the enthusiasm is missing.

Britta saw a Vodka bottle for 5 Euro in a supermarket today. I was so moved that I took a picture of it (!) and almost cried tears of joy. That it what 2 years of Sweden and its bloody Systembolaget do to you, children!

Britta thinks you know you've officially integrated into Swedish society when you run panic-stricken to Systembolaget to buy alcohol for a party that is still THREE days away and pray on the way that there is at least some kind of alcohol left.

Britta has on the way back home met 100 reasons why alcohol is state regulated in Sweden. Actually, given what I saw tonight, I have to say that those Systembolaget commercials are actually not exaggerating at all, they paint a quite realistic picture of what goes on in Sweden after 8pm.

How can you tell that it is summer in Scandinavia? It is almost too warm for gloves and a fleece jacket. But only almost.

Neuester In-Drink in Schweden - Rose Wein mit Fanta. Dieses Volk hat wirklich absolut keine Trinkkultur.

Schweden können nicht nur kein Brot backen, die können auch keine Gurken einlegen. Ich verhunger hier noch mal.

Britta has just spent 5 min of precious lifetime picking raisins out of my müsli. Seriously, why do Swedes have to put a ton of them into a single package of müsli?!

Britti will aus dem scheiss Småland abgeholt werden. Sofort. Und bringt mir ne Laugenbrezel mit!

Am 8. Tag schuf Gott die Sonne und sprach zu den Schweden: "Guckt euch die nochmal gut an, die seht ihr so schnell nicht wieder!"

Britti möchte aus dem Småland abgeholt werden. Hier schneit und friert es und es ist immer nur dunkel, so hab ich mir Schweden nich vorgestellt!

Britta just spent 10 minutes of precious life time spelling my name. I love Swedish customer service. Most frequently used word: No. Actually, probably the only word used by them.

Britta thinks you know you live in Sweden when it is mid June and you find yourself dressed in a fleece jacket, socks and the warmest pair of pants you own, wrapped into a blanket, sitting on the floor, trying desperately to activate your radiator

Der nächste Schwede, der meine 3 Waschmaschinen blockiert, is dran! Was kapiert dieses Volk an 2.5 Stunden Waschzeit nicht?!

Britta hat die Schnauze voll: Kaputter Rücken, lärmende Technonachbarn, kalte Heizung & widerliches Brot. Klein-Britta will aus dem Småland abgeholt werden - SOFORT!

Britta feels sorry for the Swedish people. ICA really is the best supermarket they offer you here? Sad!

Britta thinks: Dear Swedish state, if you want me to pay for parking, then please put a functioning ticket machine within reach.

Britta's kitchen is full of drunk, ugly, desperate, trash-producing Swedish male zombies. Happy Valentine's Day!

Britta thinks that the most annoying thing about Sweden, besides their bread, snus and supermarkets, definitely is snow.